O, remember, my son, and learn wisdom in thy youth

Alma 37:35.  Yeah basically I’ve learned.  And at least I can say I’ve learned something.  Or somethings, so that when I have kids I can pass this down to them.

What have I learned?

1. When you find someone who you are completely in love with you, who takes all the crap you throw at them in stride, who accepts you for you and loves you because of everything you are, and when that person is by far the most perfect person for you in the entire world, and you can’t see yourself happier or caring more about any person more than you care about her.  When you can honestly say that I know this person inside and out and love them for them and want to be with them for the rest of eternity.  When you have reached that point don’t let it go because you’re scared.

OF COURSE YOUR SCARED!!
It’s a horrifyingly unnerving experience to be that completely engulfed in another person.  To care that deeply and to have that much vulnerability.  It’s terrifying when the thing you want most in this world is another person, suddenly you are putting all your hope faith and trust in that other person, but when that person wants you, they’re putting all of that on you.  It is frightening.  If you are not even a little bit scared by this prospect you do not understand what the commitment of true love really is.  If you are not even a little bit frightened, you have yet to experience what real love truly is.  Don’t let go because of that, because if you do, you will soon realize that everything you didn’t know, does not even begin to amount to what you did know.  You knew what love was, you knew what it was to care about someone more than yourself.  You understood the feeling that can truly heal, and the power that nations have started wars over.  You knew the power of God at that point.  Whatever you didn’t know can never compare to that what you did.

2.  Never and I mean NEVER make a decision while you are in a state of high emotion. 

It’s a BAD idea

Never make a decision in fear, panic, or euphoria.   When you do, it is not you who is making the decision it is your emotions.  And I’ll let you in on a secret, YOUR EMOTIONS CANNOT THINK.  You do not make rational decisions, you do not understand, or even think to try and weight the outcome of your decision, it is not a though it is an action, and an action based on the emotion. Unless you want to regret the decision later, don’t make it while you are in a state of high emotion.

3.  Along with number 2, Know when you are in a state of high emotion

Pay Attention

Simply put, you cannot do number two if you don’t do number 3, so maybe 3 should go first.  Know when you are panicking, know when you’re scared, know when you are euphoric.  If you can know and understand these things than you can know that now is not the time to make any decision.  Now is the time to breath, relax, and talk, NOT DECIDE.

4. Decision doesn’t have to be made immediately

Breath Relax and Talk

I know it seems like if you don’t decide right now that the world will end or you’ll never get the chance to make the decision again.  This is not so.  Unless it’s life or death, or a matter of principle, usually the time to make a decision is not when the choice is presented, but after you’ve had some time to Breath, Relax, and Talk.  Give it a couple days, give it a couple weeks.  Talk to the people the decision affects, pray about it, and make certain you understand the implications of your actions.  If you don’t you will live to regret it.

5. The best things in this world are never easy.

If They Were, They Wouldn’t Be The Best

The things that really matter and mean something in this world are usually, if not always, some of the most difficult things in this world.  The things that are worth caring about are the things that you put the most work into.  They are the things that your whole heart and soul goes into to make them what they are.  When that something is a someone, that means this someone now has your whole heart and soul at their disposal.  You gave that to them, and you don’t get it back until they give it back.  Whether directly, or by consequence, you don’t have that back until it’s given back to you.  If you panic and try and take it back, you’ll realize that you’ve just cut yourself off of your one link to it.  I suppose it is possible to get that back, over time it heals and grows back, but you don’t ever forget the pain it causes.  If you do take it back make sure that you are prepared for the pain of letting that heal.

6.  Live and learn

And Keep Breathing

If you have managed to ignore all of my advice up to this point, then you are probably sobbing more frightened and confused than you ever were before, and hating yourself for being so stupid.  If this is the case, there is only one thing you can do.  Appologize, and keep moving on.  I know it sucks, but maybe you’ll get lucky, maybe they’ll forgive you and give you a second chance.  And maybe you won’t and perhaps they won’t, but you can’t make them.  Remember step five, time will heal it though it will be painful.  Learn from this experience and remember Alma 37:35 Learn wisdom.